Brother Knows Best
by define-serenity
Summary: [Sebastian/Blaine] Baby brother drunk as a skunk, big brother to the rescue, but how will he handle the two horny teenagers in the backseat of his car? ONESHOT. COMPLETE.


**disclaimer:** without prejudice. the names of all characters contained here-in are the property of FOX and Ryan Murphy. no infringments of these copyrights are intended, and are used here without permission.

**author's notes:** inspired by and dedicated to Ari (**mcfanderson**)

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**Brother Knows Best;;**

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He's not sure the text he sends his brother can be considered English by any standardized interpretation tool.

_coopp i;m drunk as fcuk taek uz home_

And it's a testament to Cooper's decoding skills that his reply reflects some modicum of understanding, even though he doesn't get the chance to read the entire text–Sebastian's lips latch onto a particularly sensitive spot behind his ear he wasn't aware could be so sensitive to greedy boy lips, and for the time being he can't be bothered by much else.

He moans and clasps a hand around Sebastian's shoulder. "This is all your fault," he breathes heavily, willing his knees to keep functioning, his eyes drooping shut once Sebastian's tongue joins the party.

"No, it's not," Sebastian whispers, any further reply drowning out when Sebastian's lips meet his and he decides not to rehash the whole 'I thought we agreed you were going to be the designated driver tonight' discussion they had earlier, not long after they both had way too much to drink already.

Of course neither of them was old enough to drive, but they'd vowed that every time they got stupid enough to go against their parents wishes and partake in underage drinking, at least one of them would remain sober enough to guide the other home in a straight line. It was an arrangement that had worked perfectly well up until tonight.

Because they both turn horny as all hell when they drink too much, any teenage inhibition or reservation falling away in surrender to what any boy would feel for his first serious boyfriend, and when one of them manages to stay sober at least there's some shred of propriety left, instead of this tangle of limbs they now find themselves in. How is he meant to stay proper and decent when parts of him are responding to Sebastian's body the way only his own hands or his vivid fantasies had achieved before, his heart beating so fast he's afraid it might pop out of his chest, his skin flushed hot all over like he's spiking a fever, and–

"Blainey!"

If there's anything that can turn him off instantly it's his brother calling him by that nickname clean across the parking lot. He pulls back from Sebastian's embrace, ignoring the pointed looks from several patrons smoking outside, and glares at his brother as he approaches the car, tugging Sebastian by the hand behind him.

"What?" Cooper huffs, but neither take the time to start arguing.

He climbs into the backseat, Sebastian along with him. Cooper has met Sebastian, of course, last week when Cooper dropped in and announced that he'd be in Ohio for at least a few weeks. There had been a distinct twinge of fear, Sebastian had already admitted to liking _that guy_ from the Free Credit Rating Today commercial without knowing he was talking about his brother, and at least Sebastian had hidden that same interest when he met Cooper. But that didn't mean he wouldn't take any and all opportunity to keep the two separated. He already feels like he isn't good enough for his parents whenever his brother's around, and he felt no need to feel it around his boyfriend either.

Cooper turns in the driver's seat and looks at Sebastian. "So, where do I drop you off?"

He settles back in Sebastian's arms. "Bas's coming home with me."

"No, he's not."

His face falls, a childish impudence coursing through him because who does Cooper think he is? He can't just show up from LA out of the blue and decide to be an actual brother to him. "Mom and dad are gone for the weekend," he says, a fact he'd considered carefully all week–he and Sebastian met months ago at the start of school, but they'd only been dating for a few weeks. His parents hadn't been too pleased to hear he found a boyfriend, but at least they hadn't outright worded their dismay. This was the perfect opportunity to be alone with Sebastian and fool around a little, feel each other in new and exciting ways the same way they'd managed to sneak it in the hours after school before Sebastian's mom came home from work.

Now they had all night, two more after this if all went well, and Cooper was saying no?

"But I'm not," Cooper says, eyeing the both of them. "So either I drop off your boyfriend at home, or we go shopping for condoms first."

His cheeks explode with a heat he's never felt before. "_Cooper_," he hisses, eyes downcast as he sneaks a quick glance to his left, and Sebastian seems equally sober now. Of all the scenarios he'd imagined playing out tonight being schooled by his big brother was most definitely not one of them. God, why was Cooper such a buzz kill?

He crosses his arms over his chest and mumbles Sebastian's address, eyes fixed on a point outside the car once they're on their way. He can't believe this, he had it all planned out, and it all fell apart because they were both stupid enough to get drunk. He wanted a special night with Sebastian, _alone_, far from disapproving parents and bullies or just any sort of judgmental eyes, and now it seems he has to add his own brother to that list.

No two minutes later he feels Sebastian drawing closer, burying his nose in his curls and breathing in deep, until his lips start trailing kisses down his neck. He turns into Sebastian's body on instinct, something he's grown to love so much because Sebastian's taller frame accommodates his perfectly. One of Sebastian's hands curls around his hip and heat surges through him again–Cooper or not, he's still pretty wasted and with Sebastian so open and willing it's easy to forget his own reservations.

Sebastian pushes a kiss to the corner of his mouth.

"What are you doing?" he whispers, but chases after Sebastian's lips nonetheless.

Sebastian smiles against his lips. "Making the best of the time we have," he whispers back, moving in tighter to start nibbling at his ear.

Giggles billow from deep below his diaphragm. "Sebastian, my brother's right there."

"I don't care, you're so much hotter," Sebastian mutters and while it's most definitely not what he meant – he is in fact far more concerned about his brother learning the details of his burgeoning sex life – something bubbles in his chest with such a caramel gooey warmth that it cancels out any previous fears about Sebastian's eyes straying in Cooper's company.

He smoothes a hand down Sebastian's chest, his body warm through the cotton of his shirt. "You really mean that?" he asks, lips circling Sebastian's again and again. He'd like to hear it again, wrap himself up inside the silky corrosiveness of words he'll replay over and over, because he's so in love, he's so in over his head that he might as well take it all now that it's within reach.

"Hell yes, killer," Sebastian hums, his lips vibrating against his skin just shy of his. "He's got nothing on you." His heart starts somersaults at every word, jumping and twirling once Sebastian starts pressing kisses to his lips whenever he stops to take a breath. "I love your curls." A kiss and Sebastian reaches up into his hair. "And your lips." Two kisses, the last one lingering for seconds he loses track off. "Your eyes." An eskimo kiss this time while they bring each other's eyes in focus.

He never thought he was capable of feeling this, his body explosive like it's a fuse about to get lit, Sebastian's eyes sparking something he's not sure any description could do justice.

And then Sebastian leans in tighter once more, the rest of his confessions whispered in his ear so Cooper can't overhear. "I love working my hands all over you," Sebastian's breath coasts along the shell of his ear and the mental image his words conjure makes him shiver, a hand massaging down his chest to put his point across. "Those little noises you make when you're turned on, God, killer, I could listen to you all day."

His lips part in a gasp once Sebastian's lips find that precious spot in his neck again, and there's absolutely nothing in him that objects to his boyfriend's hand making its way further down–anticipation tickles down his spine, and he wants Sebastian to touch him so badly, to get him hard, to get him off, to kiss him into oblivion.

"Hands where I can see them, Lurch," Cooper's voice sounds intrusively, but this time around it's only enough to discipline Sebastian's hand. His lips find Sebastian's again, parting at the wet line Sebastian licks over them and they sink into a hot make-out session in the backseat of his brother's car. He tangles their legs together, fingers threading through his boyfriend's hair–it takes him all the strength in the world to hold himself back and not straddle Sebastian's lap.

But all too soon they reach Sebastian's house. It takes Cooper a full minute to break them apart, but Sebastian drags him out of the car with him–he wraps his arms low around his waist and pulls him closer. "God, I can't believe him," he says. "I hate him."

Sebastian smiles. "No, you don't."

And maybe hate is a strong word, especially for a doofus like his brother, but he doesn't want to let go of Sebastian, not tonight, maybe not ever, even though a small voice tells him that's the alcohol talking. But it's Cooper who once told him that being in love feels like this, lovely and a little stupid, crazy and insane and addictive all at once.

Sebastian captures his lips one more time, tongue outlining them carefully as if he could break any minute. "See you at school," he whispers breathlessly, followed by his equally spent, "Okay," but neither of them break away from their embrace, his hands wiring together at the small of Sebastian's back, wanting him closer closer _closer_, until he might as well be part of him.

That is until Cooper starts honking.

And he _growls_. Cooper is being even more impossible than usual, and even though his wounds are soothed when Sebastian playfully smacks his ass upon his retreat, he's very determined not to speak to Cooper again for the rest of the night.

He settles in the passenger seat, waving Sebastian goodbye and refusing to look away until he's out of sight.

"Seems like you had a nice night," Cooper says.

He crosses his arms and slumps back in his seat, his lips sealed. "Squirt?" Cooper repeats and he rolls his eyes–he _hates_ that nickname, he's been living with it for years and what's worse is that Cooper has started calling Sebastian _lurch_, as if somehow his tall and still gangly body justified that. "Oh, it's like that, is it?" Cooper finally picks up on his silence. "Well, suit yourself. I regret nothing."

"You _embarrassed_ me," he calls, louder than he anticipated he would, but Cooper has this way of getting under his skin like no one else. "In front of my boyfriend. Who are you to come in and dictate my life? I had _plans_."

"You're fifteen, squirt, you've got all the time in the world."

He sighs, but remains silent, opting for staring out the window once more, watching darkened houses pass by–he wonders if the people inside those houses have meddling brothers who try to make decisions for them. They probably do.

"Okay, you know what?" Cooper says, parking the car in front of the house. "You're _drunk as fuck_." His head snaps to the left, unaccustomed to hearing his brother swear. Cooper points at him, "Your words, not mine."

He cringes–did he really text that?

"I don't know about you, but waking up next to your boyfriend for the first time with a hangover kind of takes the romance out of it."

He casts down his eyes, but maintains his sulky demeanor–okay, so _maybe _Cooper has a point, he's never woken up next to Sebastian and he's had more than a few fanciful fantasies about how that would go, Sebastian's eyes heavy with sleep, that mind-boggling grin opening up his face all lazy while he cuddles closer and keeps himself warm with only Sebastian's body.

Which, yes, would be a lot less romantic with a headache and the urge to puke. He's not sure he wants to know how Cooper's figured out it would've been his first time, but there's something almost caring and brotherly about it.

Not that he's willing to admit that to Cooper just yet.

"No need to thank me, squirt," Cooper says, and slaps his thigh. "You're welcome."

"Stop–" he starts, but Cooper's already climbing out of the car, "–calling me that."

He sighs and closes his eyes, letting his eyes rest for a few seconds before braving the unavoidable–Cooper Anderson's Infamous And Effective Hangover Cure. He's always known his brother's impossible, but he guesses he kind of loves him for that too.

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